MatchMatrix Compatibility Trait | Controller Modifier
Controller modifier (“My way or the Highway”)
Men and Women with this trait are very sensitive and highly intuitive. They are respected for their self-confidence and are often approached for advice because of the accuracy of their intuitive sense. Those gifts, however, are rarely available for their personal use. They make good decisions, are usually successful, can be quick witted, decisive and have iron wills. They have the personal power to accomplish a lot. They have a loving and compassionate nature when they are not operating under the effect of this modifier.
Under its influence, a person with the Controller modifier is only interested in giving and not receiving. “Only giving” can be a powerful control technique. Being aware of this Modifier and breaking its effect can be a real challenge.
The Controller modifier can manifest as a Dr. Jekyll/ Mr. Hyde personality. The person is often moody. Their emotional state can change in a second with great emotional highs and lows that can range from wanting to be left alone to exploding over a minor issue. They can roll out a canon to blow up anthills.
Under the effect of this modifier, they can be temperamental, dogmatic and not open to learning except on their terms. They may isolate themselves emotionally because it offers the best control. A person with this trait can be loved and respected in the world while at home they can be reclusive or a tyrant. They can be short tempered and attack without provocation. Compared to how they normally act, they seem to be under a spell. There is no feedback system for them to know how they are acting. They may not even remember what occurred during that time.
Men: This Modifier in a man is based on an underlying paranoia. The timing of the impact of this Modifier generally tracks their biorhythms. Paranoia can be highly motivating or it can defeat him at every turn. For that reason, men with this modifier can be financially successful or have little to show for their efforts. If he is successful, it is because he maintains control by working harder than anyone else. Success follows naturally from always being ahead of the game. The other extreme is someone who takes regular breaks from normal responsibilities. He has a low tolerance for stress and needs to escape, which typically defeats his financial ambitions.
Women: This Modifier will affect a Women’s emotional nature more acutely during their monthly cycles. Its influence also generally tracks with their biorhythms. Approximately three to five days each month the Modifier exerts its greatest influence.
During those days in particular, she may have a difficult time letting things go. Because of her sensitive nature, each confrontation, each misunderstanding or disappointment is a nick that draws a drop of blood. The wound doesn't heal because she does not know how to let it go. Those minor issues in a relationship can accumulate over time and cause death by a thousand cuts.
This Controller Modifier has its greatest impact when the person is tired or under stress. The effect can range from mild to severe. In some cases the person can transform into an entirely different person right before your eyes. It can give a stainless steel lining to a personality. The person can be pretty closed minded while under the affect of the Modifier. Their intuitive sense or gut feeling is the only thing that counts. It's best to just step aside in a conflict and wait for the effect of the Modifier to pass.
When your relationship is stable, you might gently work out a plan together for small signals that may let you both know when you are crossing the line. Treat this as a feedback system that can slide under those emotional outbursts to disarm them. Stay well-rested, remember to exercise together and have fun together. That will help keep both of you free of stress.
The major challenge for both Men and Women who have the Control Modifier is to be aware of what is going on while they are under its influence.
The Controller Modifier is most beneficial in public or casual relationships. In an intimate relationship it presents difficult challenges when it lacks the mitigating benefits of the Lifestyle Traits identified by MatchMatrix. The magic of MatchMatrix is having a way to know if you or someone you love has the Modifier and to understand its effect. A new source of love, support and understanding are available from this knowledge.
People with the Controller Modifier will benefit from partnering with someone with whom they share the same MatchMatrix Lifestyle Traits. Having the emotional alignments will lessen stress in the relationship and moderate the effect of the Controller Modifier.