Solutions for Your Relationship Conflicts and Problems
This is truly important information to have for anyone who's in a relationship, but if you just want to jump ahead and read about your misalignment, click on the link to get there quickly.
"We have different Communication Styles."
"We have different Activity Levels."
"We have different Sexual Responses."
"We have different Financial Logic."
What causes conflicts in relationships? As frustrating and mysterious as they can seem to be, their cause is unbelievably simple: basic differences in personality. In the past, you could only speculate about those differences, but MatchMatrix fully reveals them so you can know what they are instead of guessing. And now you can do something about them.
MatchMatrix provides a clear description of the differences between people. The value of knowing the specific differences in any relationship is huge. It allows you to put aside your old emotional "toolbox" and try something new. Those old tools have little value for dealing with the results of misaligned MatchMatrix traits. For example, an impasse doesn't have to look like a reason to end a relationship any more. Instead, you might see that you have different Communication Styles and now take this as a signal to seek to understand one another more deeply. Knowing the differences gives you power to address the cause, rather than get mired in the conflict. Appreciating the differences opens new possibilities for acceptance and love.
If you're single, use this section to foresee potential conflicts and choose a mate with matching traits for greater support in your relationship.
If you're in a committed relationship, this section will help you identify the similarities and differences between you and your mate for a deeper understanding of each other.
And if you're a parent, this will help you discover the source of whatever conflicts you might be experiencing, and it will help you distinguish the blessings and challenges with each individual child.
In all cases, knowing the differences leads to solutions based on understanding and compassion.
Tulip or rose?
A rose is a rose, and a tulip is a tulip. A tulip will never be a rose, nor will a rose be a tulip. They are both vibrant and perfect in their natural state. It is futile to try to get one flower to become like the other. Just as in nature, it is not possible to change another person into something they are not. A MatchMatrix understanding of the differences allows you to accept someone else for what they are ... perfect in every way. Now you can observe their perfection as a new context for your relationship.
Consider this: Each of the four MatchMatrix traits (Communication Style, Activity Level, Financial Logic and Sexual Response) has a physical vibration. Like a flower, each has its unique way of expressing itself in the world. When you share one or more of these traits with someone else, you also share resonant frequencies that support your relationship (you "jive" together). On the flip side, and the reason for this section, is that conflicting traits produce discordant energies ("weird vibes") that challenge your relationships. In this section, you'll come to view these differences, which in the past may have been exceedingly challenging, as beautiful flowers in the garden of your relationship.
A close relationship promotes conflicts.
Differences in vibration are magnified when people are in a close relationship. When you live together or are in frequent physical contact with someone, the interplay of your vibrations as support or challenge becomes obvious. You know what it means to have challenge/conflict in your relationships. It can range from minor discomfort to severe volatility. You're also aware of when there are no conflicts. Your emotional response can range from simple comfort to immeasurable ecstasy.
Realize this: Whether you're battling or in bliss, there is always a physical vibration that resonates if you are aligned and causes conflicts if you are misaligned.
Relationships with friends, or any casual relationship, are easier than close relationships because you do not spend a lot of time together. This also helps explain why a couple can date successfully for many years and then have the relationship blow up within a short time after moving in together or getting married. The conflicts surface when the relationship becomes physically close on an extended basis.
Keep in mind: Long weekends together do not qualify as a close relationship. Regular times apart that break the energetic pattern also disqualify a relationship as close. A "close" relationship occurs when people live together as a couple, a family, or roommates, as well as when they work in close proximity to others on a regular basis.
"Attractions" can lead to conflicts.
(Refer to the Attractions section of this site for in-depth information on True and False Attractions.)
Attractions are powerful. They can mask or actually cause long-term misalignments that will eventually surface as conflicts. MatchMatrix has the solution to both.
People with True Attractions should insist on strong chemistry in their relationships so they will be drawn to someone with the same Communication Style. That valid attraction, however, can mask misalignments in the other traits. Use MatchMatrix to assure alignments for Sexual Response and Activity Level. The Financial Logic alignment is less important when all three of the other traits are aligned.
The challenges with False Attractions are much different. Those attractions actually direct people to someone with the opposite style of communication, which assures significant conflicts. The False Attractions are powerful enough to obscure alignment for the other traits.
Hint: If you're single and experiencing False Attraction, which you would not have been able to identify before MatchMatrix — but can now — you would be wise to totally ignore this type of attraction and follow this system to find someone with similar MatchMatrix lifestyle traits. The ultimate goal is to be with someone who has the same or a similar profile as you.
MatchMatrix is the only way we know to get past the challenge of False Attraction rut of failed relationships. Use this system to select someone to date, and then get together five times to feel the alignments. At least one time should include dancing so you can feel the "heart to heart" connection that is possible with these energetic alignments. No kidding. Dance with the person, and you'll feel it. With the aligned traits you will experience a new quality of attraction that is based on a long-term emotional connection.
Attractions also play a role in the relationships between parents and children, as well as in business relationships. Now parents can give up the guilt about whether they like one child more than another. See how your attractions connect you with each child, then focus on the aligned traits that you share to strengthen the relationships. Use MatchMatrix to understand people in the office, for team building and to increase efficiency and productivity.
Different styles of communication can cause people to ...
1. Have misunderstandings and an overriding irritation with each other.
They have an issue with questions. The person with a Logical Communication Style often stops the person with an Emotional Communication Style to clarify what's been said. The questions are reasonable in the Logical Communication Style. However, the questions break the stream of consciousness that's characteristic of the Emotional Communication Style, which follows feelings, not reason. In the Emotional Communication Style, a person just wants the opportunity to express emotion without interruption. Yet the person with a Logical Style wants it to make sense. Result: frustration and conflict.
They can struggle for power in the relationship. The person with a Logical Communication Style often seems authoritative to someone with an Emotional Communication Style. People with an Emotional Communication Style can feel put down by the Logical Communication Style and may respond by being insulting, perceiving that they are responding in kind. In a long-term relationship between people with mismatched Communication Styles, you can hear strain or urgency in the voice of the person with an Emotional Communication Style as he or she is constantly on the defensive, trying to maintain some sense of equality. Result: stress and conflict.
Hints and assumptions obscure real needs. People with an Emotional Communication Style often drop hints about what they desire. They do not think it's necessary to be more specific because they're able to pick up on the nuances of what other people say, and they assume everyone can. Yet people with the Logical Communication Style need you to say what you mean. They don't want guesswork; they want directness and clarity. Result: ambiguity and conflict.
There are differences in the time needed for decision making. People with an Emotional Communication Style take time making decisions. They need to figure out how they feel, and this isn't always cut and dried, so they do not like to be rushed through the process. That can come across to the Logical Communication Style person as being dimwitted or indecisive: "Can't you just look at the facts and decide? How complicated could that be?" Result: condescension and conflict.
People with a Logical Communication Style can be "in their heads." People with an Emotional Communication Style see the Logical Communication Style as being hyper-intellectual, out of touch with feelings. "All those people do is think, think and think some more." Someone with an Emotional Communication Style wants you to feel what's behind the words, which is the most important part of the communication. Someone with a Logical Communication Style takes the words at face value, analyzing the meaning of each one and deriving a total meaning from the sum of those parts. For instance, one person says, "I hate you," meaning, in the Emotional Communication Style, "My feelings about this are so big that I need to express myself forcefully." Once said, that releases the emotion, and it's over. However, in the Logical Communication Style, this means it's time to starts packing the bags. Hate=no love=the relationship is over. Result: miscommunication and conflict.
2. Experience a significant energy drain. Mixing Communication Styles results in an energy drain for at least one of the people. The drain can range from feeling spacey to having to go to sleep when they are around each other. The person with the drain may be drinking a lot of coffee to compensate. Although both people may have an energy drain, it is usually more noticeable and stronger for one than the other.
Consider the effect this energy drain has on the ability to communicate. Remember that words are used for a different purpose by each person. Having the energy drain widens the gap. Pretty soon there is little communication. The drained person continues to deteriorate. There is little feeling or emotion. Communication becomes superficial, and the relationship moves to a basic survival state.
This kind of mismatch of Communication Styles is so prevalent that many people think the resulting lack of emotional support and poor communication are normal to being in a relationship. Their solution is to "work at it."
3. Have different friends and interests. People with different Communication Styles do not enjoy the same friends. Friendships and interests go hand in hand. Friendships often determine interests, and interests support friendships. Lack of communication severely limits the enjoyment of friends and the same interests. That means that one of the people must give up their friends for the couple to stay together, or they will choose to lead separate lives.
When Communication Styles are aligned, a couple enjoys going to gatherings and parties together. They typically share a close set of friends. But misaligned couples often have their own friends, so they socialize apart. They think it has to do with different likes and dislikes. In fact, it is much more than that. In addition to sharing enjoyable communication with friends, the time apart provides the chance to recharge their emotional batteries.
4. Have different senses of humor. People with different Communication Styles do not share the same sense of humor. It is not a question of laughing at the same comedian or enjoying the same funny movie. It is about whether or not the other person gets the most spontaneous and creative humor that comes from your soul. Do they get your quick turn of a phrase or off-the-cuff remark that comes from your innermost creative part? If not, you lack a vital emotional connection with the other person.
Tips for Understanding Each Other
MatchMatrix is the source for distinguishing who has the Emotional and Logical Communication Styles. With this knowledge comes understanding and compassion for yourself and other people.
1. Accept that you have different talking styles. Know that you use words in a different way and for different purposes. The difference can be as significant as mixing oil and water. Once you know your Communication Style, use the suggestions below to gain understanding and compassion.
2. Talk on the telephone and use written messages to clear up sticky problems. This will avoid the physical proximity that causes the energy drain. To confirm the value of this, check it out: Do you enjoy phone conversations with each other during the day and then have a shift when you try to talk in person that evening? This also explains why people can have a good telephone, letter or e-mail relationship, then be disappointed with their in-person experience.
3. Establish ground rules for your conversations in advance. Knowing you have different Communication Styles makes it mandatory to have agreements established before a conflict arises. This will help deal with hidden agendas used to "win" or "control" a conversation. You will no longer have to walk on eggshells to communicate with somebody. Just remember, it is the willingness to communicate by learning and understanding that improves human relationships.
4. Parents, consider the dynamics of the family. Alliances can be formed based on who shares the same style of communication. Understanding each person's Communication Style may explain and even resolve many of the family challenges. Look at the understanding the Matrix provides for some sample combinations:
Both parents have the Emotional Communication Style, and all the children have the Logical Communication Style. It's a standoff. Nothing makes much sense to either side. The kids seem obstinate and contrary. The fact is they simply don't understand what the parents are saying. The parents need to speak clearly and directly. If this is your situation, tell the kids what you want. Don't hint. Engage the help of another adult with a Logical Style to assist with the communication.
Everyone in the family except one child has the Emotional Communication Style. The child with a Logical Communication Style feels like an outsider and feels the energy drain. That child probably sleeps during the family car trips.
The parents have an Emotional/Logical relationship. Each aligns with the child of his or her own communication type and has conflicts with those of the other type.
If both parents have the Logical Communication Style, they may have good communication with one another, but their logical approach won't work well with children who have the Emotional Communication Style. If this is your situation, listen to your children. Don't grind them with questions. With this new information you may be able to explain to your children that you communicate in different ways and establish the agreements suggested earlier for a better connection.
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Different Activity Levels can cause stress in a close relationship. The person with a Super Activity Level has to slow down, while the one with a Moderate Activity Level is often straining to maintain a consistently high pace to keep up.
Tips for Balancing Your Activity Levels
MatchMatrix is the source for distinguishing who has the Super Active and Moderate Activity Level. With this knowledge comes understanding and compassion for yourself and other people.
1. Acknowledge your differences and honor your partner. Super-active people will fill their days and evening with activities. They seem to have an endless supply of energy, can multitask and appear never to need a break. They are constantly thinking. Yet it can be difficult to distinguish between someone with a Super Activity Level and someone with a Moderate Activity Level. That's because those who are moderately active are sprinters. They can run at high speed to get the job done, and then they take a break to lead a more relaxed lifestyle. Super-active people never stop. Their mind keeps going even if they appear to be relaxing. In addition, having the Mental/Emotional Sexual Response can affect both Activity Levels. It will provide an energy boost. The super-active person with the Mental/Emotional Sexual Response runs at the highest speed. MatchMatrix helps you accurately identify your Activity Level and provides these suggestions to create harmony in this area.
2. Parents, be aware of your perceptions and misperceptions. Super-active parents often see their moderately active children as lazy. The parents are accustomed to a high-speed, productive lifestyle and may push their children beyond the children's own Activity Level. The parents may have good intentions, but this can cause stress for the kids. Understanding these differences can offer a whole new approach to your parenting. Be patient and observe. There is a major difference between being lazy and having a more laid back and slower pace for the world. The parent with a Super Activity Level may take a few lessons from the more casual and slower pace. If you consciously slow down your pace you may find yourself enjoying your moderate active child from a whole new perspective. Imagine how supportive you are being to this child that you love. Parenting is also about creating lasting memories of good times.
Moderate Active parents may become concerned about a Super Active child burning the candle at both ends. How can they handle so many different things? Are they headed for workaholism and a type A stress-out? You should know from this description that your Super Active child has the energy and capacity to run at high speed all the time. Your challenge is to help him or her have balance in their life. With understanding from MatchMatrix, parents will be able to accept and support their children in a more loving and constructive way.
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No question about it... Sex is a source of intense pleasure and can be satisfying in the short term. However, behind the physical act is a significant emotional component for both types that must be fulfilled for long-term sexual fulfillment. The issues that create conflict can be physical, emotional or a combination of the two.
Those with the Mental/Emotional Sexual Response experience sexual interest like waves on the ocean, rising and falling, sometimes unpredictably. It's like the old adage: When you're hot, you're hot: when you're not, your not. This type of person can be sexually seduced and even fulfilled by strong emotional intimacy and support. The words and acknowledgements, along with mental imagery, make them feel good about the relationship. That feeling is their security in the relationship and is a primary component of their sexual fulfillment.
They have a moderate need for physical contact. Even a circle of close friends for support can be sexually satisfying. Streaks of passion are typically of a short duration. They equate looking sexy with being physically sexy. They like conversational romance and flirting as a safe way to advertise their sexuality. They can perform well physically and do it with a detachment that makes them emotionally cool. The Mental/Emotional type also includes people who have almost no need for physical connection. They are described as the Achiever in the Personality modifier section. They are competitive and typically leaders in their field because their sexual and emotional energy can be redirected to achieving their goals.
Those with the Physical Sexual Response are always open to being touched and stroked. This type holds a unique reserve of energy that is an emotional dimension of their personality. The reserve is accessed only during sexual connection. Dating and the pleasures of romance are all directed toward making a physical connection as the way to liberate the reserve and fulfill their emotional needs. They like long-term, consistent cuddling and sleep like two spoons. Sex is recreational bonding.
Tips for Sexual Fulfillment
MatchMatrix is the source for distinguishing who has the Mental/Emotional and Physical Sexual Response. With this knowledge comes understanding and compassion for yourself and others.
People with the Mental/Emotional Sexual Response are challenged to deliver the level of physical intensity needed by the Physical type. On the other hand, people with the Physical Sexual Response are challenged to deliver the quality of emotional intimacy and support needed by the Mental/Emotional type.
When you are in a relationship with someone who isn't the same sexual type, you may feel frustrated by your inability to truly satisfy your partner. If you're Physical, you may be unable to provide the quality of affection your partner needs for sexual fulfillment. You may also feel discouraged and energetically drained because your partner is unable to help you access your energy reserve for sexual fulfillment. If you're Mental/Emotional, you may be unable to provide the intensity your partner needs to give them access to their special reserve of energy for sex. You may also feel emotionally malnourished because of the lack of quality emotional and physical connection you require for sexual satisfaction.
The best situation is to be matched with someone of the same Sexual Response so you can have a similar appetite for sex and intimacy. If you and your partner are not the same sexual type, this information will still be beneficial to support your relationship. There is nothing wrong with you or your partner. Knowing these personality differences can be a stimulus for exploring new possibilities and a deeper connection, and for achieving an understanding that leads to compassion.
Attractions are the guiding influence for most relationships and must be analyzed apart from the 4 Lifetsyle Traits, especially Sexual Response. Differences in the sexual types can be masked by the attractions and the effects rarely show up during the early phases of a relationship. So during the first six months to a year, everyone is a physical performer. After the attractions have cooled, people are often surprised to discover the true sexual nature of a mate. The misalignments were there from the beginning and were masked by the attraction. The Mental/Emotional person may like a lot of sex during the courting phase but can eventually get tired of it. They begin to see the Physical type as needy and resent the demand for what seems like constant cuddling, stroking and time in bed that is beyond their sexual appetite. Use MatchMatrix to see past the attractions and know the long-term potential of a relationship.
How do the sexual misalignments manifest when two people apparently please each other physically in bed? Regardless of the physical pleasure, the person with a Mental/Emotional Sexual Response will eventually feel emotionally malnourished. This may show itself as extreme sensitivity; there may be tears for no apparent reason; there may be upsets that are expressions of unfulfilled emotional needs. Even if you are aligned in Communication Style, you may see a shift in your partner's sense of humor or playful conversation, and he or she may have a need for repeated reassurances and regular talks about feelings. The person with a Mental/Emotional Sexual Response whom has a mismatched sexual partner may eventually feel as if he or she is dying inside.
People with the Physical Sexual Response view this conduct as lacking in self-control. They respond to the emotional outbursts with more control. They may think, "Doesn't everyone like sex? What's the problem?" Even if they try to offer support, they will be unable to satisfy the emotional needs of their partner. The contest between the physical and emotional needs of the couple will create stress that often results in a downward spiral in the relationship.
How to Appreciate Your Mental/Emotional Sexual Response Partner -
Be aware that strong emotional intimacy and support can sexually fulfill a partner with a Mental/Emotional Sexual Response. People of this type are drawn to romance. Words and acknowledgements, along with mental imagery, help them feel good about the relationship. Although they may not require much to feel a strong sexual connection, they are very sensitive to your authenticity. If they sense your interest is not genuine, they will shut down or deliver a disconnected performance with no fulfilling emotional connection. The sexual encounter may appear fulfilling, but inside they are starved for a deeper connection. Consider the following actions to appreciate, honor and acknowledge your Mental/Emotional Sexual Response partner.
||Fantasy and romance stir your partner's desire. Plan an event specifically to show your expression of love and desire. There are numerous books on creating romantic moments and evenings of great sex. Find something you know you can have fun with and create a special moment for your partner. You will be pleasantly surprised at how great the benefit of just one genuine event will be on your relationship.
||Your partner is aroused by your physical appearance. Surprise him with a sexy negligee or intimate apparel that you feel great in. Or surprise her with new cologne and bedclothes that attract her attention. Arouse your partner's imagination.
||Make sure to tell your partner how you feel, what you enjoy together, and what about your partner excites you.
||When you are not together, make a quick call to let your partner know you are thinking amorous thoughts. Tell your partner what you would be doing if you were together right then.
||Your genuine verbal expressions help create the feeling of security in the relationship, which is a primary component of your partner's sexual fulfillment. Your authentic thoughts may not be sexual in nature, and you want to simply be in your partner's arms. Share those feelings. You will be surprised how far your comments will go.
Do you question any of the details about your sexual type?
Recognize that as we get older, physical changes can affect our innate response to intimacy. Injuries, drugs, poor diet, hormones, stress and other factors can have a big impact on a person's sexual response. Of greater importance is to view the 4 Lifestyle Traits as a package. The traits work synergistically to define how people relate to each other. For example, if a couple has different Communication Styles, the resulting energy drain can affect their sexual performance. Different Activity Levels will also have an affect on how people respond in bed.
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Differences in Financial Logic can be the source of intense friction in a relationship. Every person is compelled to deal with money to survive in the world, so the differences between the two styles can become blurred and hard to distinguish in everyday living. However, in romantic, family or business relationships, the differences in Financial Logic come to the surface and are most recognizable.
Financial Logic identifies attitudes toward money and how a person manages it. A person has either Non-conservative or Conservative Financial Logic.
Many people have the impression that opposites would balance each other in this area. That, however, is not the case. There is less stress with people who share the same Financial Logic. Sharing the same MatchMatrix traits with your partner is always the ideal. Matching in the other three categories — Communication Style, Activity Level, and Sexual Response — is especially beneficial when you and your partner do not share the same Financial Logic.
Understanding the effects of misalignement in MatchMatrix traits will greatly mitigate the stress in a relationship. Couples can learn to trust each other and find a middle ground to create financial stability and growth. That typically means the Non-conservative type will follow the lead of the Conservative type.
Why are money issues at the top of the list for the causes of divorce? Money is the one tangible in a relationship; it can be counted. Undestinguished, intangible challenges in the other three Lifestle Traits are eventually measured in dollars. Shopping is a well-known antidote for relationship issues. People rarely understand the cause of their challenges, increasing stress and giving rise to fiancial burden. Bottom line, if people are unable to be creative or lack the energy that follows from neglected misalignment issues, it will be reflected in their bank account.
Financial Logic is clearly distinguishable from the other three MatchMatrix traits. Each person's Communication Style, Activity Level and Sexual Response are innate. There is no outside, objective way to deal with the differences because they manifest energetically, usually unconsciously. On the other hand, when people know they have differing Financial Logic, they can get outside help to make financial decisions. They can hire an advisor or a money manager to assist them. Alignment in this area is the least critical of the four traits, although taking the time to know your own and your partner's Financial Logic type is an undeniably valuable investment.
Certain lifestyle traits will affect a person's spending habits regardless of Financial Logic. Super-active people often spend more to support their busy lifestyle. People with the Perfectionist modifier may appear to be Non-conservative because they often use money to buy friends or satisfy an emotional need within themselves. People will also spend money to make an impression.
People with Non-conservative Financial Logic are comfortable spending money and often have an innate ability to earn it. They typically have less of a focus on money than the Conservative Financial Logic types, which allows them to live a more spontaneous lifestyle. Anyone can learn how to earn and manage money from their parents, by education or functioning in the world. This paragraph, however, describes innate Financial Logic. Without the educational benefit from an outside source, the Non-conservative Financial Logic types may have weak financial skills and have trouble handling money. They will often draw the line lower in their checkbook than the Conservative types and may overextend themselves. Many live on the financial edge. Some work hard and have little to show for it.
It's possible that MatchMatrix has identified you as having Non-conservative Financial Logic, yet you may be financially successful, carefully plan for your financial security, and stay focused on being financially responsible. It may look like a contradiction, but ask yourself the following questions: "If money was not a concern, how aware would I be of every penny I spend? What are my natural tendencies toward money? How aware of money am I when I don't need to be?"
People with Conservative Financial Logic usually have good money-handling skills because finances are a primary focus in their lives and it represents security. They are frugal and typically good money managers, and they plan for their security to avoid being pushed into a financial bind. They may prefer to pay cash and try to manage their credit cards to avoid being overextended. They often have funds to take them through the hard times. Money and the security it offers are ongoing focuses for people with Conservative Financial Logic and causes great stress for them when it is not available.
Is it possible to have Conservative Financial Logic and do a less than adequate job of saving money? Or to give generously? Even give everything you have away? You bet. Again, your outward behavior does not always define your inner emotions. There are many beliefs about money that we're taught at an early age. Those beliefs have an enormous impact on how we attract, keep and spend our money. The one consistent emotional response a person with Conservative Financial Logic will have is their awareness of how much money they spend and have, or do not have.
People with Conservative Financial Logic may be some of the most generous people you know, but despite how much they gladly give away or contribute they are always aware of the amounts they have gifted and what is left. Most have a financial calculator in their head. If they don't keep a running total in their checkbook, it is only because they know within pennies how much they have and how much they are spending.
Tips for Managing Your Money Together
MatchMatrix is the source for distinguishing who has the Conservative and Non-Conservative Financial Logic. With this knowledge comes understanding and compassion for yourself and others.
How to Appreciate Your Non-Conservative Financial Logic Partner -
People who have Non-conservative Financial Logic are more nonchalant about money than you are. If this is your partner, remember that money is not their primary focus, so it may appear that they are far less concerned about money. They can often attract it as easily as they spend it. Consider the following actions to appreciate, honor and acknowledge your Non-Conservative Financial Logic partner.
||Your partner has a relaxed attitude about finances that you can benefit from. Ask what beliefs your partner has about money that allows him or her to be relaxed. Talk to your partner about money and abundance. Notice if these beliefs and attitudes are different from yours and if they seem to be more supportive. Write them down and try them out, either as positive affirmations or physical activities.
||There is an age-old adage that you get what you focus on. If you are having financial difficulty and you are focused on how little money you have or you are making, you are sure to get more of the same, or less! For the person with Conservative Financial Logic, it is no simple task to lighten up, which you must do to attract abundance. It is not natural, but when finances are tight, you can benefit greatly by adopting your partner's positive and easy-going attitude. Don't worry about losing sight of how much money you have. It is hard-wired into your personality to be aware of money.
||Take your partner shopping, or plan a vacation. Let him or her come up with the events, and you work the budget. Don't vote any activity down until you have them all listed out, and then you can show your partner which ones work best. Let your partner make the final decision.
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Summary of Conflicts and Solutions
Misalignments in the individual traits result in easily recognized conflicts. When the misalignments involve multiple traits, the analysis becomes much more difficult. It can be a challenge to recognize how a particular action or characteristic relates to a particular trait. If you were to map it out, it might look a lot like a spider web. The analysis gets even more complicated when the relationship among multiple family members is mapped. It's worthwhile, though: This process can be enlightening and create a whole new talking with, learning from, and living with the people you love.
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