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Achiever modifier ("Can redirect their emotional energy to achieve goals")
The Achiever modifier gives the person a unique ability to redirect 100% of their
emotional energy into accomplishing their personal and business goals. That means
the emotional connection with their mate can be severed for the time of the project.
People with this Modifier are typically successful.
Often times people in relationship with an Achiever suffers from emotional malnutrition
because of the emotional disconnect. The stress which is reflected primarily in
their sexual relationship can manifest as jealousy and control. The best way to
avoid the emotional stress from this Modifier is for both people to have the Achiever
modifier. When both people have the Achiever modifier they have commonality or a
level playing field for the relationship. They will share the sexual philosophy
of "when you're hot you're hot; when you're not you're not". If one person
has the Achiever modifier then, at a minimum, a couple should be aligned for the
same MatchMatrix sexual response to diminish the sexual stress.
Manipulator Modifier ("Tiger in the tank")
A Person with the Manipulator modifier exercises an attractive kind of control.
They are good at finessing other people to get what they want. They're very amiable
and know how to cozy up to people. This modifier works well for developing casual
relationships and the other person feels good about being directed. People with
this Modifier get things done and are usually respected.
Women with the Manipulator modifier:
- Are power-houses.
- Benefited from feminism.
- Usually have a drive towards success.
- Maintain control through their sexuality.
- Have no continuity in their emotional make up.
- Typically have success except in their relationships.
- Think like a man and compete well in a man's world.
- Are seductive and control by manipulation and finesse.
- Are good at what they do and have a lot of energy to do it.
Women with this modifier face a significant challenge. They like having a strong
partner who challenges them. When the man finally yields, however, she may see that
as a weakness and conclude that the relationship is no longer fun without a contest.
If neither person yields, they can end up head to head like two locomotives pushing
each other up and down the same track. Someone has to yield to make it work. With
the capability of these women, it makes sense for the guy to yield. Without this
understanding, one of them will most likely leave the relationship. Women with this
Modifier may cycle through many relationships looking for the right mate. There
is a good chance they may just tire of the process and stop looking altogether before
reaching their goal.
This modifier can cause a surge of wild passion one night and then transform to
ice the next night. They like a good fight, never forget a wrong, carry grudges
and can write someone out of their life forever.
Men with the Manipulator modifier:
- Typically have many creative ideas. Their challenge is implementation. They can
be good entrepreneurs if they are able to put together a team or back-office to
further develop and implement their ideas. Without that support they typically have
many false starts and their ideas fail to produce results.
- They can have a style that ranges from assertive to aggressive. They like high
risks. They like poker, extreme sports, fast cars, venture capital and making deals.
They are drawn to being policeman, fireman, stockbrokers, sports figures and Olympians.
They work out, play hard, talk fast, drive fast and enjoy high-risk, quick return
deals in the financial arena.
- They often have a cool emotional nature. They bring their work and problems home
with them. That behavior often conflicts with their ability to fulfill the emotional
needs of their partner. Work comes first and gets their emotional attention. Someone
with this Modifier often lacks the compassion necessary to give quality support
to their partner. These challenges are seldom apparent during the early days of
a relationship. They blossom after the commitments are made. Sharing the MatchMatrix
lifestyle traits will mitigate the effects of the Modifier.
In order to thrive in a relationship with people who have this Modifier it is important
that you have at least the same Comunication Style and Sexual Response.
People with this modifier do best when they are in control. However, while in control
they must learn that kindness does not represent weakness. At any point in time
one person has to be more assertive and the other receptive if the couple is to
grow together. Otherwise, the relationship resembles rubbing two diamonds together--
they just scratch each other. Compromise will be the key to gaining traction when
the horsepower of the Manipulator Modifier is spinning its wheels. In other words,
if one of you is jumping up and down the other one must stand still.
When a woman with the Manipulator modifier finds a man with whom she is aligned
for the MatrixMatrix traits, her need to control will be mitigated. Without the
need to draw on this modifier for her protection, she will be able to present her
best qualities to find fulfilling happiness.
Men with this Modifier will also benefit from MatchMatrix. Sharing the emotional
alignments of this system provide the necessary tools to work out the challenges
of this Modifier. The stabilizing influence of the MatchMatrix emotional traits
will free a man to present the best he has to offer to his partner.
Even when two people with the Mainpulator modifier are aligned with the MatchMatrix
Lifestyle Traits, they will have to work together to make compromises. The alignments
of the MatchMatrix provide the most predictable way for these people to have a good
relationship through the awareness of their personality differences.
The "Controller" and "Manipulator"
are powerful modifiers. They can have a dramatic impact on a relationship even with
the benefit of the MatchMatrix life style traits if the people are unaware of their
presence. The inherent need to control in each of these modifiers can keep a person
stuck unless they are willing to look, to learn and to grow.
The following couples were married for more than 10 years. Each were well aligned
with the MatchMatrix Live style traits that supported their relationships. The Modifiers
were the primary cause of the failure of each relationship:
Bruce Willis - "Controller"
Demi Moore - "Manipulator"
Tom Cruise - "Controller"
Nicole Kidman - "Manipulator"
This couple was married for a few months:
Nicholas Cage - "Controller"
Lisa Marie Presley - "Controller"
Controller modifier ("My way or the Highway")
Men and Women with this trait are very sensitive and highly intuitive.
They are respected for their self-confidence and are often approached for advice
because of the accuracy of their intuitive sense. Those gifts, however, are rarely
available for their personal use. They make good decisions, are usually successful,
can be quick witted, decisive and have iron wills. They have the personal power
to accomplish a lot. They have a loving and compassionate nature when they are not
operating under the effect of this modifier.
Under its influence, a person with the Controller modifier is only interested in
giving and not receiving. "Only giving" can be a powerful control technique. Being
aware of this Modifier and breaking its effect can be a real challenge.
The Controller modifier can manifest as a Dr. Jekyll/ Mr. Hyde personality. The
person is often moody. Their emotional state can change in a second with great emotional
highs and lows that can range from wanting to be left alone to exploding over a
minor issue. They can roll out a canon to blow up ant hills.
Under the effect of this modifier, they can be temperamental, dogmatic and not open
to learning except on their terms. They may isolate themselves emotionally because
it offers the best control. A person with this trait can be loved and respected
in the world while at home they can be reclusive or a tyrant. They can be short
tempered and attack without provocation. Compared to how they normally act, they
seem to be under a spell. There is no feedback system for them to know how they
are acting. They may not even remember what occurred during that time.
Men: This Modifier in a man is based on an underlying paranoia.
The timing of the impact of this Modifier generally tracks their biorhythms. Paranoia
can be highly motivating or it can defeat him at every turn. For that reason, men
with this modifier can be financially successful or have little to show for their
efforts. If he is successful, it is because he maintains control by working harder
than anyone else. Success follows naturally from always being ahead of the game.
The other extreme is someone who takes regular breaks from normal responsibilities.
He has a low tolerance for stress and needs to escape, which typically defeats his
financial ambitions.
Women: This Modifier will affect Women's emotional nature more
acutely during their monthly cycles. Its influence also generally tracks with their
biorhythms. Approximately three to five days each month the Modifier exerts its
greatest influence.
During those days in particular, she may have a difficult time letting things go.
Because of her sensitive nature, each confrontation, each misunderstanding or disappointment
is a nick that draws a drop of blood. The wound doesn't heal because she does not
know how to let it go. Those minor issues in a relationship can accumulate over
time and cause death by a thousand cuts.
This Controller Modifier has its greatest impact when the person is tired or under
stress. The effect can range from mild to severe. In some cases the person can transform
into an entirely different person right before your eyes. It can give a stainless
steel lining to a personality. The person can be pretty closed minded while under
the affect of the Modifier. Their intuitive sense or gut feeling is the only thing
that counts. It's best to just step aside in a conflict and wait for the effect
of the Modifier to pass.
When your relationship is stable, you might gently work out a plan together for
small signals that may let you both know when you are crossing the line. Treat this
as a feedback system that can slide under those emotional outbursts to disarm them.
Stay well-rested, remember to exercise together and have fun together. That will
help keep both of you free of stress.
The major challenge for both Men and Women who have the Control modifier is to be
aware of what is going on while they are under its influence.
The Controller modifier is most beneficial in public or casual relationships. In
an intimate relationship it presents difficult challenges when it lacks the mitigating
benefits of the personality traits identified by MatchMatrix. The magic of MatchMatrix
is having a way to know if you or someone you love has the Modifier and to understand
its effect. A new source of love, support and understanding are available from this
knowledge.
People with the Controller modifier will benefit from partnering with someone with
whom they share the same MatchMatrix Personality Traits. Having the emotional alignments
will lessen stress in the relationship and moderate the effect of the of the Controller
modifier.
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